Life goes on

It's been a long time since I posted on here, a long time since I even came and looked at this blog. I guess I associate our blog with the death of our child. It boggles my mind that it has almost been one year since we had to make that agonizing decision to let her go. Where did the time go? I don't know why I've decided to come back on and write on this, just felt the urge.

There is a saying that I found that I can relate to ~ In 3 words I can sum up everything I learned about life: it goes on ~

I gave birth to Evan Robert on October 1st, 2010 and he brings such happiness to our lives! He in no way replaces Eryn. Our heart still ache for her but we do know that good things can happen after experiencing such a tragedy. I think about Eryn every single day, multiple times a day. I don't think I'll ever get over losing our baby but every day it does get better.

Evan is only 18 days old but I feel like he has been a part of our family forever! He weighed 9lbs, 5ozs when he was born and he weighs 10lbs 3.3ozs at his 2 week check up! He is a chunker! He is a great baby and Lukas adores him! Lukas is such a good brother, just wants to hug and kiss Evan all the time!

I've always hated the saying "Everything happens for a reason." It has always annoyed me when people say that but I think that Eryn had a great purpose in our life and losing her made Sam and I stronger as a couple. Many couples don't survive something like what we went through. I thank Eryn for blessing us with Evan. It's hard to explain but that is how I feel.

Ok, well I know that was a bunch of rambling but I hope to update this regularly about my kids and life in general!

I can't believe it is 2010 already. Time is flying and I'd like it to slow down a bit! I can't believe that it will be 6 weeks tomorrow that we said goodbye to Eryn.

We held a memorial service for her last night. It was really nice and I am so glad that we did it. She deserved it and I think we needed it also. It was wonderful to hear her name being said. Tori read a beautiful poem and I thank her for that. It meant so much to us! Esther from my mom's church sang Amazing Grace and it simply was amazing. She is a beautiful and talented woman! I thank my mom for helping organize it, she was a huge help during these past 6 weeks!

I hold close to my heart that I will see my little girl again and she will be happy and not sick. I wake up missing her and go to sleep missing her. She is always in my thoughts.

Lukas is keeping me busy, always getting into some kind of trouble! Typical boy! We are so happy in our new home. I am so glad we found this house! The neighborhood is great! The dogs love their new backyard with the freedom to run around!

Hopefully 2010 will be a good year for us!