I am sitting here thinking about everything and realized that we move in about 3 weeks. Nothing is packed and we have no motivation. This new house was bought because we were expanding our family. It was to be a new exciting beginning with our new baby and our amazing little boy Lukas. Now neither of us are very excited to move. It is now a reminder of what could have been. An empty room where our new baby should have been.

My emotions are a whirlwind right now. I try to be strong for Sam and Lukas, as I know that Sam is hurting just as badly as I. I would do anything to ease his pain if I could. I feel SO pissed one minute and so sad the next minute. I have such a strong need to know the sex of my baby and am praying that we find out soon. I miss my baby so badly. What I would give to go back just to feel the baby inside of me just one more time.

Empty womb, broken heart, shattered dreams and full of questions. Why us?