Life is slowly moving on, whether we want it to or not. Most importantly, Sam's birthday is tomorrow! He will be 31 years young. We also have settlement on the new house tomorrow. I am slowly getting excited about moving, Sam however is not, he see's the mountain of work - the actual process of moving looming in front of us. I hope that once we are settled in the house we will be happier.

I honestly don't know what else to say. The grief is still strong and controlling. Yesterday I would have been 19 weeks pregnant. Almost at the half way point. It kills me thinking about it. And we would have been finding out the sex definitively at this point.

We have our good days and we have our bad days. Sometimes the thought of Eryn consumes me and the sadness overwhelms me. I just keep telling myself that things are going to get better, life is going to seem brighter. I hope.

I miss her more and more everyday. I miss what could have been. These feelings I doubt will ever fade. I just hope it will hurt less.