We are officially moved in to our new house. We did the big move yesterday. We had such great help yesterday and today. Thank you to those that helped! Sam did a walk through with the new owner of our Sellersville house. I didn't go with him. I didn't want to get upset, I know that this is now my home. Sounds dumb I know but I was really sad to be moving after everything that has happened but we are so lucky to be in this beautiful home!

I also got a call yesterday from Lindsey at the funeral home. She advised me that Eryn's urn had arrived and that she would drop it off today. I somehow knew that she was going to be calling me yesterday. I just had a feeling. Lindsey came this morning and dropped off my daughter's ashes. It is a beautiful cherry finish with an angel engraved on it along with her first and middle name and her date of birth/death on it. Sam was not home but Jason was with me at the time. I kept my emotions in check for the most part. It's just seems like a really bad dream still. I am sitting here now looking at her urn and I can't believe that my daughter's ashes are in there. I am waiting for someone to wake me up and tell me that I dreamed this all up and that I am still pregnant. It makes me so sad to know that she wasn't given a chance at life and I am so sorry for that. I would have done anything if I knew there was a chance for her.

Sam went and picked out a Christmas tree this evening while I stayed home with Lukas. It just doesn't feel right to be celebrating anything. I will though for my son. He loves all of the Christmas lights. I decorated with some of my Christmas decorations tonight. I can't wait for him to wake up tomorrow morning to see/destroy it all!