Today was the day from hell....

I just updated my facebook status to "Erica Levin survived this day. barely." Today was a day I quite frankly would like to not repeat. First it has been exactly 2 weeks since my procedure. That hangs heavy in my mind and heart. I have been very emotional all day. Crying off and on, listening to all of my "sad songs." Pretty much throwing myself a big ole' pity party. I had an especially bad moment emotionally and thank god Sam was home. He is the best peson in the whole wide world!!!!

Lukas had a low grade fever last evening. He slept well until 4am and then there was no going back to sleep. He was acting fine, a bit clingy but REFUSED to take any good naps. He slept for 30 minutes here and there. So between that and my being an emotional wreck = a bad day. Some more things happened but I'll spare you the gory details.

We had an appointment at the funeral home this evening to pick out Eryn's urn. Definitely not something I thought that we'd EVER be doing for our child. The funeral director was such a sweetheart. She said that she had to tell us and hoped we didn't think it was weird but she was keeping Eryn's ashes in her personal area. She said that our story really affected her and wanted to take care of Eryn. Knowing that there are still caring people out there in the big bad world is so heartwarming. Anyway, we picked out the perfect urn for our daughter and it will be engraved with her first and middle name. Lindsey (the funeral director) guaranteed that Eryn will be coming home next week. She also stated that she is more then willing to bring Eryn's ashes to our house. As I said, she was such a sweetheart.

I am worn out and ready for bed. I am hoping that Lukas is feeling better and sleeps well tonight. I hate to see my little man suffer so much. He is one of the bright spots in my life! He cracks me up on a daily basis. He is now imitating things people do. My mom watched him tonight and everytime she laughed, he mocked her and imitated her laugh. It was hilarious!

Anyway, thanks for listening to me and keeping updated with our story of Eryn.