We went out for the 1st time last night in a social setting. It was hard to control the sadness and my crankyness but Sam and I had a good time. Lukas had the most fun though. He was out on the dance floor with everyone shaking his booty, having a blast! He loved the flashing lights from the dj, the music and all the people dancing with him! I had a big smile on my face watching him the whole time!

We did alot of packing today, once I got started I couldn't stop. I didn't give myself time to think about the baby too much. It always seems to be on my mind but I just looked at Sam and told him that today was the 1st day that I felt sort of "human" and he said the word "human" at the same time I did! He said that he felt the same way. He has always been good at finishing my sentences for me!

I had 2 good friends stop by this evening with a TON of cookies ( and a TON of boxes for our move), so guess what you are eating if you happen to stop by my house??? If you haven't guessed........COOKIES! Oh and they brought beer but I don't think Sam is going to part with that :-) Thank you so much Kristin and Cheryl. You listened to me ramble and I appreciate it!

I go in tomorrow morning for my post-op appointment with my OB, I am not sure how I am going to be sitting in the waiting room with all the pregnant moms, I *think* I am going to be ok. I just wish I was still that Mommy still pregnant sitting in the waiting room. It just wasn't my time. I hope that some day that I get a chance to be a momma to another child.

I don't think the sadness will ever go away completely, I will miss my child every day for the rest of my life but today was a happier day. I hope to have more of these days.

Thank you again ( I can't say it enough)to everyone for the love, prayers and support! It means so much to us!